


the terrible stillness

by hestiaandhercat



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Everyone Needs A Hug, Existential Crisis, F/M, Fluff, am i hip yet, and some people get one, and suddenly stopping and realizing that life is meaningless, at least if you don't look too closely, is that a thing people can relate to, the feeling you get after a long day of living in the moment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:53:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23802652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hestiaandhercat/pseuds/hestiaandhercat
Summary: “Why did you run?”, he asks, although he wants to ask “Why did you stop?”“I don’t know”, she says, although she wants to say nothing at all, just stare at the blue and dangle her feet. He seems to understand even without her saying it out loud, and so they keep sitting there in silence.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 44





	the terrible stillness

She sits on a mountaintop and watches the world go by. It’s calming, this, finally not saving anyone, finally not running, finally sitting still for once. And yet it fills her weary body with a strange feeling of uneasiness, like if she isn’t running, she isn’t sure who she is anymore.

Still she sits, desperately telling herself that this is relaxing while clouds touch her feet and she rocks back and forth almost without noticing she is doing so.

He finds her after a time that might have been aeons or seconds. Who can tell, in this world?

His coat is still singed from where she burned it before she ran and he sits down next to her with the heavy sigh of someone who has been travelling for a long time. She has run quite a way before she stopped. She wouldn’t be able to say why she stopped or why she isn’t starting again, but she simply sits, him by her side, and stares down into the blue.

“Why did you run?”, he asks, although he wants to ask “Why did you stop?”

“I don’t know”, she says, although she wants to say nothing at all, just stare at the blue and dangle her feet. He seems to understand even without her saying it out loud, and so they keep sitting there in silence. 

She notices that he has lost a shoe somewhere and nudges his bare foot with hers questioningly.

“Traded it away for an elevator ride.”

She laughs without meaning to, her chuckle a helpless thing that escapes her mouth without her consent, falling between them and dangling there awkwardly for a moment; before he smiles, catches it, catches her, and the world falls into balance again.

“Why did you need an elevator?”

“You’re high up, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“There are no elevators in this mountain.”

He smirks. “There are now.”

She wants to punch him and kiss him and push him off the mountain all at once, so she settles for doing nothing but staring at him.

“Why did you follow me?”, she asks when what she really wants to say is: “Why did it take so long? I was up here all alone, for so long, and I was scared and I don’t know what is happening, but something inside me is wrong, and I needed you to be there and you weren’t.”

His eyes say: “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but I am here now and whatever is wrong will be right again and I will stay here and you don’t need to be scared”, but his mouth says: “Nothing better to do, I guess.”

She collapses into his shoulder with a suddenness that surprises them both and he has to lean sideways in order to not fall over. Somehow, he manages to sneak the arm he isn’t leaning on around her, and even more unbelievably, she doesn’t push him away.

They sit like that for a long while, staring into the blue. Everything is right with the world, although it is also wrong, and she doesn’t know how to explain it. But she doesn’t need to, because he understands everything and nothing and that is enough. He is enough.

Later, they will fight and she will run and he will follow, as they always do, but right now, the world is clouds and mountaintops and the growing sense of unease that always comes to her when she stands still for too long. She is not sure how much longer she can bear it, how much stillness she can manage before it all gets too much and she will have to run again, never towards something, always simply away, without relent and without ever looking back.

But right now, she is wrapped into blue skies and mountain air and him, and for a moment, she almost feels okay.

  
  



End file.
